day 24 I think

I think that we are down to the 1WW and I'm not sure how I feel. I'm pretty sure that I don't feel like I might be pregnant, but I've thought that before and I was wrong. As usual, I just don't know. The progesterone is a pain in the arse, that's for sure. I'm just glad the whole dildo cam thing is over. I was so glad when I ovulated...geez. Why did I decide to go back to the RE?! I think that the nurses know more about me than the doc does too. UGH! Next step???
Now, I just wait wait wait, is that all I ever do.

I'm having a pretty shitty week and I'm trying to figure out what would make me feel better. Ever really want to quit your job, just been done. It's unbelievable how people are wired and how they think. They pretty much amaze me every day. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on the lot. I know that I shouldn't feel that way, but sometimes I do.

On to happier notes, we truly are trying to make our house a home. We got a new door, I love our new door. It brings so much light into our front room. It almost seems as though the door is open. I love the light, but at night, I feel like everyone is watching me. I don't think that they can really see me, but still, the thought is there. Hubby even primed it on Sunday so that we could paint it. Yipeee!

Unfortunately, because we originally had to take the door off, well Hubby did, to get the couch in. Well, guess what happened when we got a new door. Hubby took our couch, put it on the front lawn and now we have no couch :(. I actually feel like I belong in Hampden now though. Actually, I will tell you that we moved it to the patio. Hubby joked, 'Now, you have the patio furniture you always wanted.' I didn't laugh. Oh, and guess what, bulk pickup in our area needs three business days advance notice. So, uh, the couch stays on our lawn for over a month. UGH?!

Gotta love all that rain eh?!

makin' our house a home

For the past few weeks we have been trying to make our house a home. We planted a new garden, we repainted our dining room, added a little flavor. We would love to re-do our stairs, but finding a contractor seems impossible. We are getting a new front door later this week and we are getting rid of our couch and comfy chairs. Then we will get our carpets cleaned or replaced. After that all new furniture for the living room. The kitchen, was not on the list...until the other day. Ya see, we don't have a lot of counter space, pretty much no counter space. The microwave takes up nearly one whole counter and when we do the dishes, no dishwasher, they need to dry on the other counter.

Well, the other morning I had just done the dishes and I felt the need for an English Muffin. So, I used the little space that is in front of the microwave to set up the toaster oven. It fits, it's not a perfect fit, but it works. I wanted to make my version of an Egg Mcmuffin, I had a hard boiled egg, my slice of ham and my wrapped cheese slice. The cheese was a bit cold so I placed it on top of the toaster oven while my muffin cooked. It started to let off a bit of a scent, melting plastic, I figured I better take the slice off the toaster. It was still a little hard and cold so I just flipped it over. The smell went away, I figured I'd fixed the problem. My muffin was toasted so I began to make my sandwich. Once I was done, I thought, let me just put this thing away now.

As, I go to pick the toaster oven up it's kinda stuck. I figured, hmm, maybe I should not grab this hot toaster oven with my fingers, let me get the oven mitts. Well, then I tried again and it really was stuck. I'm thinkin What the hell?! Then I realize that "Oh Shit!", it's stuck to the microwave! Hubby's going to kick my arse! I'm freakin out, I don't know what to do, I start pulling the toaster oven in a frantic state hoping that I haven't completely ruined the microwave. Or even that, I can get away with Hubby not even noticing (Yeah Right). I couldn't think of what to do. I tried to pull again and the door of the microwave on the hinge side, nearly comes off, OH Shit!. Ok, don't do that again. All I could think of is cold water, maybe if I get cold water it will stop the melting and I can pull the toaster oven away without any damage. So, I grab a clean glass filled it with cold water and poured it in between the mircowave and the toaster oven being careful not to get in inside or near anything electric like. Believe it or not, it didn't work. Maybe the water wasn't cold enough. Yeah right, what the hell was I thinking pouring water on two electrical appliances?! I know , I know, but I didn't want to get caught. I felt like a little kid that had just broken the vase and wanted to blame it on the dog. I had no dog to blame. And, I don't think my cat Guinness would take the blame for this one. I asked.

Finally, after all the pulling and all the water, I got them to release one another. I put the toaster oven away, it had a little melted white on the back, but no real damage. The microwave on the other hand, Oh Crap, Hubby is definately going to notice this one! It's melted, not to the point where we can't use it, but to the point of where it's ugly. It's no longer white, more of a yellowish brown and crispy. It doesn't make for a complete kitchen makeover, but it's where it begins.

in the news

Jon stewart was on Oprah and he wondered...
"The CNN crawl—let's face facts," he says. "They added a 24-hour ticker, yet it adds absolutely no insight. This literally happened when Uday and Qusay Hussein…had been killed. So you had these really grizzly images, and it was reporters going non-stop from Baghdad…and on the crawl underneath it, I kid you not, came across the sentence, 'Beyoncé no longer likes the word bootylicious.' And it was juxtaposed with these unbelievably grizzly images, and you just thought to yourself, 'Isn't the ticker guy watching CNN? What is he doing?'"
Jon Stewart is funny.
I gotta tell ya, I can't ever ignore the crawl. No matter what I'm watching. It has ruined quite a few football games for me too. It's like a car wreck that people rubber neck to see. I personally always ask the passenger to look and then grill them about the wreck, but that crawl I have to watch!

So, when I am at the gym, it's the only time that I get the news or get to see/read it. Bad, I know. Any way, Last night, I saw the story about Robert Davis, the man that was beaten in New Orleans by the police. I nearly started bawling. I just don't understand. So, I took a deep breathe and just I worked my arse off on the machine I was on. It just made me so mad. I don't even know the whole story. I read about it more this morning but, it just pissed me off even more. So, I stopped reading.

Of course, then I see an article about some Arkansas woman who just had her 16th child! Are you effin' kidding me?!! I can't even have one. I was even more depressed after that, so I stopped reading the news. I hate the news. I'm going back to my television and catch up on 'LOST'.

one week in

and yesterday was the last day of taking the letrozole/femara. I have had a stomach ache all morning. I didn't even go to work til like 12:30, then I left at 3:30. I still wasn't feeling up to par and there were like five people working. Plus, I was starving (I hadn't eaten anything all day) and I didn't think that fast food would suffice. I hope that this is not a side effect of this drug. I think it may have been my combination of weird foods yesterday, but then again Hubby ate everything that I ate. Except he had a Pumpkin Spice Latte while I had a Chai Latte. Oh well, I'm better now and that's good. I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow to find I when I need to go in and check out my follies. great big follie thoughts.

for cryin' out loud...

Dear Ravens,

For the past ten years, I have loved being a fan. I have watched the team form into the Superbowl Winners that you once were. But now, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is going on?! I know, I have never been an NFL coach, player, or staff member. But, I have to say this is assanine. That game was atrocious. I will say the refs and umpires need to be fined themselves. I mean for crying out loud...HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT SEE THAT THAT WAS FORWARD MOTION?????!!!!!! DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE REPLAY?! OMG! Oh, and how many times can there really be defensive holding?! Yes, I agree Terell, you should have been aware of your helmet and Ed, you should never never touch a ref. You should have been ejected! Yes, there are flaws, I don't think that the team is flawless. But come on! Billick, get your shite together or get out. Yes, someday, and let me repeat, someday Kyle Boller will be a NFL quarterback, but right now, he's not! Offensive line, HOLD THE POCKET! Give Anthony the time that he needs, if he can take his time he will be a decent quarterback. He just needs to take his time. Protect Jamal! He can go for miles if you hold the line!

Defense...defense, what the hell is going on. I see some awesome plays, but nothing close to what we (I) am use to. Is there any way we can go back to those days when people spoke so highly of you?! ED Reed, YOU are the Defensive Player of the year! Show them what you can do dam nit! More Sacks, forced fumbles, interceptions, something already!! I can't go another Sunday like this! Please stop the madness!

DO SOMETHING ALREADY! That's not even all of it, but it's all that I can think of at this moment. I know that no Ravens staff will read this and I know even if they did it wouldn't change anything. I just had to vent. Yesterday was dispicable, atrocious, apalling! Please don't do it again...ever!

please.

a dreary day, but a rockin' night!

So, tonight is date night to celebrate the afore mentioned anniversary. We have reservations at Petite Louis, been dyin' to check that place out. Depending on how long it takes us to eat we will see a movie, then the rockin' begins! Get those dirty thoughts out of your head and figure out what you will be doing tonight. Because tonight starts off the "October's Heavy Metal Heroic Heroes Competition" at Molly's featuring Keyboard Man himself. And of course his city famous karaoke. So, if you feel like rockin', drinkin' and singin', we just might see you there!
Oh, and tomorrow is football, so don't expect a blog.

everyone liked the movie

So, yeah, that was good. Or at least everyone that approached either myself or my mom. The reception kinda sucked. I hadn't eaten for what felt like forever. They had appetizers, but it was all asian food and everyone kept using their chopsticks to grab stuff off of the platters. EEEWWW! At least turn those bad boys around or get new ones, they are disposable. I don't need your nasties. So, I grabbed a couple dumplings and that was all that I ate. UGH, Oh how I wished there were a Wendy's by my house. Oh well. It was so late anyways, I would have felt like crap had I actually eaten there. Got home and pretty much went to bed. Exciting, yet, sooo boring. Tonight, we shall dine on chili with the in-laws and my mom. So, I better go change, my work out clothes aren't very attractive.

anniversary

Today is our 4th anniversary.

Happy Anniversary Hubby! You would think that for your anniversary a couple would go out to dinner, maybe go to a movie and just be together. Well, we are kinda doin' that. I didn't have this blog back in january, otherwise I would have told you all that I was going to the Sundance Film Festival, who knows maybe I already told you. Anyway, my mom was in a movie that premiered there, so I went to check it out. That and a few other things...
So, tonight is the opening of the Asian Pacific American Festival in DC and the movie is premeiring. So, we are packing the whole family up and heading to the premiere. No time for dinner beforehand, but there is a reception afterwards. Alone time, not so much, family time, that's a good thing, right?! Believe it or not, I am excited for tonight even though I have seen the movie like five times. In-laws are coming, cousins, uncles and what not, it should be a good time. I think that for our actual celebration we are going to try and go to Petite Louis for dinner and then check out a movie. Thinking maybe Corpse Bride, anyone seen it yet?!

to 4 years!!

I love you hubby!!

not this time

Ok, so here's the deal, I have had faith in every doctor. I feel like they went to school for this, they should know what the heck to do. I'm beginning to understand that unexplained infertility is just that. I still think that and I'm hoping that my RE will prove me right this time. Like I was saying, I left the RE for a couple of cycles because clomid was making me crazy and I didn't want any more drugs. So, I tried acupuncture to see if being natural would make me feel better. It has made me feel better, but I'm not pregnant. It's been way too long and I feel as though I need to try something else. So, today, I went back. i wanted to hear what he had to say. I'm not sure if he gave me faith or just scared me more...jk, I think.
He explained to me that I don't always ovulate...on time. He says that out of the 4 cycles that I have had with the center I have really only ovulated two of the 8 eggs that I should have ovulated. And, I got pregnant once, so according to him, I'm 50/50. It was never put to me like that. I had never understood that. I just didn't know. can you tell it blew my mind? It gave me hope, if I can just make those eggs release! Well, he gave me a suggestion. We are going to try the unapproved letrozole/femara which he says will help. We shall see. Hope has been restored, for a minute.

I swear though if I see another pregnant woman, I just might trip her. ok not really, but can they just get away from me? please.